Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions
A Gentler, More Supportive Approach
Ah, New Year’s. For many of us, it comes with a familiar mix of hope, pressure, and skepticism. As a society, we’ve almost come full circle—where once we eagerly made New Year’s resolutions, now there’s a growing pushback: “Why bother? I know I won’t stick to it.”
But what if that’s not actually the point?
New Year’s resolutions were never meant to be a test of willpower or perfection. At their core, they’re a psychological fresh start—a moment in time where we pause, reset, and reflect on what matters most to us. They offer structure in a world where we’re often focused only on getting through the day, rather than thinking about the next year—or even the next five.
Instead of asking, “Will I succeed or fail?” what if we asked, “What direction do I want to move in?”
From Pressure to Intention
Rather than viewing resolutions as rigid goals we must achieve, we can think of them as signals of our values. They help us turn toward a new way of being, even if the path isn’t linear.
That means letting go of all-or-nothing thinking. Resolutions don’t have to be so ambitious that they feel impossible—or so vague that we don’t know what they mean. Motivation naturally ebbs and flows. That’s not failure; it’s human. Growth doesn’t happen at the same speed or intensity all year long, and that’s okay.
Shifting the Focus: Habits Over Outcomes
One helpful shift is to focus less on outcomes and more on habits and processes. Instead of asking, “What do I want to achieve?” try asking, “Who do I want to become?”
For example:
Instead of “I want to lose 20 pounds,” consider “I want to cook nourishing meals at home three or four nights a week.”
Instead of “I need to save more money,” try setting up automatic savings so the habit supports you—without requiring constant mental energy.
These small, consistent actions are often far more sustainable than big, pressure-filled goals.
When It Comes to Mental Health
Mental health resolutions deserve the same compassion. Rather than “I’m going to get rid of my anxiety,” or “I’m going to move past my trauma,” a more supportive intention might be:
“I want to understand myself better.”
“I want to learn how to accept my past and use what I’ve learned to support my future.”
This kind of work takes time and energy—but it can create lasting, meaningful change. Therapy can be a powerful space to explore these intentions, especially when self-reflection feels overwhelming or unclear.
Reflect, Recommit, and Restart—Anytime
Before setting new goals, it can help to look back:
What worked last year?
What didn’t?
How did you grow—even in ways you didn’t expect?
Acknowledge that growth. Share your intentions with people you trust. Track progress as much—or as little—as feels helpful. Use tools, apps, or communities if they support your consistency. And most importantly, give yourself permission to restart.
You don’t have to wait for January 1st.
The new year is a starting line, not a deadline.
A Kinder Way Forward
Resolutions don’t have to be rigid promises. They can be ongoing conversations with yourself—centered on alignment, sustainability, and self-awareness. So let’s take the pressure off and rethink what resolutions are meant to be.
What would it look like to set intentions that truly support you?
If you’d like support in clarifying your values, building healthier habits, or working toward meaningful personal growth, a psychotherapist can help you navigate that journey—at your pace, in your way.
Here’s to a year of self-compassion, reflection, and permission to grow.
