What Is EMDR—and How Do I Know If It’s Right for Me?

Over the last few years, one question has been showing up more and more in therapy spaces, conversations, and late-night Google searches:

“What is EMDR—and could it help me?”

It’s often asked quietly, sometimes urgently, and usually by people who’ve lived through something hard. Maybe that’s you. Maybe someone mentioned EMDR to you—a doctor, a friend, another therapist. Maybe you’ve heard that it’s “for trauma,” or that it doesn’t require you to talk much, or that it helps with memories that just won’t let go.

Whatever brought you here, you’re not alone. EMDR has become one of the most well-known trauma therapies in the world—and for good reason. But like any therapy, it’s not one-size-fits-all. So let’s slow it down, take a breath, and explore together:

“What is EMDR, really? And how do you know if it’s right for you?”

What Is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a structured therapy that helps people heal from trauma and other distressing life experiences—particularly those that have left a deep imprint on the nervous system.

At the heart of EMDR is a simple but powerful idea:
Sometimes our brains get “stuck” in trauma. Even when the event is over, the emotions, images, sensations, or beliefs connected to it can linger in the body and mind as if it's still happening.

EMDR helps the brain reprocess those stuck memories—so that they lose their emotional intensity and become part of your life story, not the thing that defines or overwhelms you.

And here’s one of the most important parts: you don’t have to talk in detail about your trauma to do EMDR.

That’s right. Many clients are relieved to learn that EMDR does not require sharing everything out loud. In fact, you can work through painful memories while only giving your therapist a general idea of what’s being processed. For people who feel too raw, too ashamed, or too overwhelmed to verbalize their trauma, this can be a lifeline.

Here are some scientific articles to get your brain growing and show you the research behind EMDR: Jongh et al. (2024) and Driessen et al. (2024)

What Happens During an EMDR Session?

EMDR involves several phases, all guided by a trained therapist. After building safety and identifying the targets (the memories or experiences causing distress), your therapist will guide you through bilateral stimulation—which usually involves eye movements, tapping, or tones alternating between the left and right sides of your body.

This stimulation isn’t hypnosis. You’re awake, present, and in control the entire time. But something remarkable happens in the brain: it begins to reprocess the trauma in a way that reduces emotional pain, shifts negative beliefs, and allows healing to take place.

It’s a little like what happens during REM sleep—when the brain processes the day’s experiences. EMDR taps into that same natural ability to sort, file, and make peace with what has happened.

Watch a session by Caroline Middelsdorf to get a better idea of what happens - check it out here!

Is EMDR Only for “Big Trauma”?

Not at all. EMDR can help with both single-incident trauma (like a car accident or assault) and complex or developmental trauma (like chronic abuse, emotional neglect, or childhood invalidation).

It’s also used for:

• PTSD and trauma-related symptoms

• Anxiety and panic

• Grief and loss

• Phobias

• Low self-esteem and shame

• Performance anxiety

• Medical trauma

• Sexual assault or violence

• Emotional overwhelm and triggers that “don’t make sense”

In short, EMDR can help you move through and beyond many of the invisible wounds we carry.

How Do I Know If EMDR Is Right for Me?

You don’t have to decide on your own. A trauma-informed therapist can help assess whether EMDR might be helpful for your specific situation.

It may be a good fit if:

• You have memories or experiences that feel “frozen” in your body or mind

• You’re struggling with symptoms of trauma, anxiety, or panic

• You want to work through difficult events without talking through every detail

• You’ve tried talk therapy but still feel stuck

• You’re open to a more experiential approach to healing

That said, EMDR is not always the first step. Sometimes we need to focus on building emotional regulation, safety, and stabilization before diving into reprocessing work. A good EMDR therapist will never rush you.

Specialized Training Matters

Because of how powerful EMDR can be, it’s not something every therapist can—or should—offer without advanced training. A properly trained EMDR therapist will have completed a certified EMDRIA-approved program and should practice within a trauma-informed, ethical, and client-centered framework.

It’s always okay to ask about your therapist’s training and approach. You deserve to feel safe, supported, and respected throughout the process.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Talk to Heal

One of the most beautiful things about EMDR is this:
You don’t have to tell the whole story in order to heal from it.

For so many survivors—especially those who’ve carried their pain in silence for years—this is life-changing. EMDR can offer a pathway forward when words feel too hard, when talk therapy has reached its limits, or when your body says, “I’m not ready to speak.”

It’s not magic. It’s not instant. But it is real healing. And if you’re ready—or even just curious—there’s space for that here.

You're allowed to take your time. You're allowed to ask questions. And you’re allowed to heal in a way that honors your story, your strength, and your pace.